Something from March 16th

Your belief is my strength. I don't know the art of expressing without words. But words have several meanings too. Its worse when you realize after a long time what meaning someone took of what you did. Its worse when you are not ready. Its worse when you are impatiently ready, but nothing happens which might require you to act. Its worse when your worst enemy stares at you from the mirror. When it tries to weaken you again and again and its hunger never ends while you are tired of being positive. It makes you copy others personalities and paste upon your own. And keep acting in front of others like a mirror reflection of themselves. And through all this, a shriveled you sits in a corner of your head telling you to keep your wits together and walk on, like you do every day.

When change altered the stability

It starts with a realization of something being wrong in the usual. Then, very innocently it shows you a solution, a way out, something that is new and gives you a tinkering little bit of excitement towards using it no matter whether you have the power to kill the excitement or not but that is 'Change' to me.
And then there is the other one, the calm lake, the one that seems so quiet that there might have been ages since its surface ever knew any disturbance at all. Everyone loves it. Even the nature's rules favour it. Everything in this universe heads towards.. Stability.
Even our mind does. The sole existence of all our needs and wants is directed towards a better living, a peaceful mind or if we use the one word that sums it all up, stability. The funny thing is, if we read this last line of mine carefully, change is the sole hero, not stability. I mean wherever change goes stability follows, and not the other way round. So all our lives we keep on fighting the king, to get the queen whereas if we cordially invite the king to a dinner party some day, the queen follows up in his wake. Now I was gonna start this article with the following para, but I left it to time as I had other important things to do and lo, I found this beautiful little explaination with time. So here goes:
Working till late one night or rather, in my first unofficial night shift, I realized that the work was not gonna end today. I was new and like many freshers, was afraid of taking initiative in any situation. The Clock was ticking and ticking... and the mouse was still clicking under my finger and on and on.. It was tedious work and unlike usually, was unmindful. I was alone in office so after some gaps of work, I would stare around me in disbelief. "How did I end up in this situation?" "Why could I not say 'No' to him? It anyways was not my work and he literally pasted it onto me so cleverly and went home like everyone. The rascal. How stupid of me!"
This was Arjun Sharma to you. Ek Satyawaan Pandit ka Saakshaat udaharan. :D (An epitome of a true 'Pandit') I would not have used this word that I am just about to quote but I don't know somehow I don't care whatsoever now. I was a Coward. Thats not what my mother or people who brought me up ever taught me to be like but you know as they say it that some things you do not learn, its what you are. And so I was, an ever so talented looking, one with straightforward ideals, curiously attracted towards knowledge and facially cute-looking boy from outer crust to the innermost layer of the mantle, but (..and no-matter how much my mother and well-wishers tried to change it while they felt they could) a cowardly core. They say that they'd slap me and run away and I'd not realise it, but the truth is I had already noticed their intentions when they felt they should slap me but could not react well to stop them.
Let me be abrupt now, I beg you. Be it less time or some other reason, but I can't be more frank regarding this change that I am talking about. I can still quote its effects. So, at that time I was still immature, clung to my attitude as if it will stay with me and go with me. I might have been happy or might not have been. But I was living it, not feeling a need for any change at all. I felt I was powerless to change course anyways. But lets just say I found a sparkling drop of water on my windowsill one day and I innocently touched it. I can't express the soaring feeling, the realisation of truth, of care, of responsibilities, of what is right and what is wrong and power to support right and say 'no' to the wrong. The powers that I already had, but stupidly as it is I never felt that I did. And I must say, I am showing it off as if it was sudden but No, it was gradual and very very painful. And I found I had the power to bear that. However, I was also surprised that I liked it. I even wished for more. Because somehow I knew that in some time I'd see the other end, which I did. Somehow, I am calm now and much more happy with my decisions than earlier. And whats more, I am still changing.
But rather than opposing it, I am embracing it. I love the fact that I have my own opinions now. So the truth is, we are happily standing on a preferred step of a ladder. We feel no need for the change and also feel that we might not get a grip on the next step and fall. So we keep standing there. But why have we become so afraid and weak? Man is so different from other animals because of his ability to think about a step further. Get up couch potatoes, buckle up for the journey called life on the cycle of change. You can stop in the way to take breath and catch up with your stability. And then move on again..

Aamir Khan. Salutes to the perfectionist!

When I heard the comments. I was shocked. Could not believe it was you making it sir. But I backed you among my friends. 

"He must have meant something."

Inside however, I was fighting with my mind to find the answer. This is your spirit. This is why I respect you so. You are a great teacher. You knew this would happen. You knew people would blacken your face in public and burn your effigies. That was all that was left with the so-called 'self-crowned thekedars' (ठेकेदार). They know the Indian public is sitting on fuel. And they have the matchbox. But that did not matter. Because ultimately they'd explain it for you. And what an impact it made.... much much better than your sole statement could ever make. I understand you fully now. You did not say anything political. You explained a feeling deep within us all, just like your movies. What a common man feels deep inside for his neighbour, his family, his opposite sex, his leaders, the media, and maybe that news airing on the TV where a leader of any religious sect was screaming like mad, for example sakes. Confusion, fear, anger; our day-to-day lives are full of it. We are all too scared about everything to think deep about anything. So, Thank you sir!

Born to succeed?! I don't think so...

I did not work too hard to reach where I am today. Which is why I don't have much to complain about when I see someone who did it. Life is always fair to us. Which also means that if I start today and work harder than anyone of them did back then, the hare might still catch up and cross the finish line with a better record. So is that all? It is my belief that many of you might have felt at some point in life that there is something more than that in it. If you have not, let me tell you why I think I felt so. In my college days I had a friend from Zimbabwe who was in India on a student exchange program. Now when I met this very unusual guy, I had no idea that he would make a paradigm shift in me not that he didn't look like that. He had a very distinguished personality. If maybe he didn't catch your eye in the first look, he'd certainly grab all your attention after the first conversation. Now he joined the college a little later than the first day so I had the apportunity to grab the most intelligent person seat in the class. I can still remember the first math test in which I topped the class(And he scored about 10/40 :p :D). Now I have a very bad habit, when I feel that now there is no cat around, I leave the milk in open. In the initial stages of any task, I show total commitment to others and to myself, but after showing best performance in the beginning, as a habit I define my limits and relax.
            So, I was good at understanding and explaining which was why my presentations were very good in class but I was a su*#er at working hard. I still remember a line he told me once which is I believe even today, the most genuine thing I've ever heard and I am not harking. It was "If you work hard you can still overcome your inabilities. But talent without hard work is a tragedy!" You might have born in an artist's house and you can keep bragging about it but at the end its you yourself and whatever is your personality and talents is what you have gathered for yourself after coming to this world empty handed.

Replacing the broken door

Why all doors close sometimes?
In life, Often you are caught unawares. While walking on the straight road with nothing in sight, you suddenly blink your eyes and are amazed to see that you are standing in a hall which contains all locked doors. The inner state is as if a bus driver has abruptly applied jerky brakes. That bus driver who drives all our buses sitting up there knows when to apply these brakes and when to speed it up. But we are generally not used to this mixture in feelings and turnaround of events. Why then did he make us soooo wanting to adapt stability when the life that he gave us was supposed to change at every interval? Readers today are smart. Had it been the 19th or the 20th century, I'd simply have answered it by quoting that:
"Folks, life is supposed to change because god wants us to learn from our mistakes at every point and at every turn!" But I know todays whatsapp generation can easily ignore it considering it as nonsense thanks to millions of life concerning motivational junk roaming freely from one phone to another. So my abilities are in doubt, & I've got to increase my philosophical standards to move this already rocking generation of readers.
          I'll start with an example. Lets go back to the days when we were not walking on this road alone. Someone was holding our hand. Actually only one cute little finger of our hand. They used to take huge strides and we just had to run to keep up. They used to be so much busy with their everyday life what with handling work and home and kids and yet, whenever we wanted anything, doesn't matter if we said it to them or not, it became their top priority just as if we were above all their bosses whose work they skipped to take  us to a movie.
          Time went on...  ...as it does! We grew, and so did the level of maturity our brain can handle. They became more protective towards you in the matter of how much you should get to know not to addle your still irresponsible self into a bad human being. "बेटा! अगर कोई तुमको बोले ना कि ये चीज़ try कर यार, बिलकुल मना कर देना ओके?! छोट्टे बच्चों को बहकाने के लिए करते हैं ओके! किसी से खाने के लिए कुछ नहीं लेना ओके?!" (Son! If ever anyone asks you to try something, just say no, ok?! They do it to mislead small children, ok! Never take anything to eat from anyone, ok?!) You grew up, but they were the same. You started having difference in opinions Because you now had a simple question(you felt) to all the customs they followed.. 'Why?' By customs i don't only mean traditional customs but anything and everything they did. "Why do you not eat before we do?" ,"You just said that. Why do you have to be so repetitive?.. ..I can take full care of myself!" Today when I look back, I find they were right. Now all the (whys) have changed into (Had I s) like "Had I worked hard!" Or "Had I just listened once!" Or "Had I not said that word to him then." Then, our parents were mature and understood the need for us to change. We however were always reluctant to that change since we never got a reason to our "Why?" If you agree with me on this point, you have got the answer to the question already. You only need to replace your parents with god in this situation. Our parents always knew we need to change and how. So they tried different ways, easy or uneasy to bring our eyes face to face to the benefits of that change in our life. So all doors never close. Next time when you feel so, think that you have just been kept away from the usual ways so that you strive to find a better one...

Where is that 'Recycle bin'... ?

Ok. This 1 comes out of a series of situations involving avoiding a lot of things. Human mind is a complex thing. I started discovering this fact when I stepped into the computers line. Its either Yottabytes of Yottabytes (about 1,007,438,183,012,190,978,921 pages of plaintext containing 1,200 characters each) of huge storage capacity or it has a really really advanced Software that manages any amount of varying memory in a most efficient way. Can you imagine that! Because even the largest supercomputer that has been developed gets filled at some point. But this little thing right here can process and store, and retain...  minutest of observations of day-to-day life as well as tough emotional issues and working life data and social life problems and still give all its capacity to the task at hand. I mean, where is all that stuff getting stored! I can still remember the baby basket in which my mom kept my clothes, and I can't figure out how that is even possible. Huh.. !

The question that keeps me

What is required to do a task:
1. Effectively
2. Efficiently
3. Keeping everyone happy

I don't think I know it myself and if we are here to find a straightforward answer to the aforementioned question, we must ask it to ourself rather than to the original asker. In a world that has always contained answers, we have never refrained from quests. However, our nagging doubts have always kept us at bay from the real answer. The askers have died, their generations who kept their questions alive have failed. The answer remains there, just as still, sparkling as ever. What we are here for today is to pause. To pause and think, about these doubts that might perhaps need solving once and for all.
At first, let us ask ourself, what the question or lets say what we are generally asking. A lot of people don't know or feel it that out of a lot of things they are doing most of the time, they are generally asking a deep open question, and live their lives as is. For example, I am usually unable to do day-to-day tasks effectively, let alone the other two which I believe are all in an order. Soon as I fail or just before I am about to fail, deep inside I ask myself "Why always?!." Now "Why always?!" is not a proper question. However its been my belief while living with "Why always?!" for so long, that it falls under the category of Titles and Tags. I mean it is a Tag pasted on a huge bundle of questions. Excuse me for increasing the complication but to me as it has always been, Life is complicated. I know I sound a lot monotonous and saddening, but I believe being realistic is the first step to being positive.
So what is inside the bundle. That would be too much for just a blogpost to digest. But reverting to our main motive, I doubted my skill when I held the badminton racket after a long time recently. But when my brother motivated me, there was a new kind of learning sensation lurking inside me now. I was grasping much better than before when I didn't doubt myself. We care too much about the future to spare time for present.
Spare me for today folks. I promise to come back soon...